When I was 9, my family enrolled in a homeschool group (which I now feel is a cult, but we will get to that later). The group is the Advanced Training Institute, ATI. They provided our Bible based curriculums for the year and siblings of all ages were taught from the same "wisdom booklets", but at different levels. We would travel to Knoxville, TN every Summer to spend a week "being encouraged" by one another, learning what was new in the homeschool world, and the kids would "enjoy fellowship" with each other as this was the one week a year that most of us got to see our friends. There were several different religions in the ATI group. We were Baptists. The Baptist kids would fight with the Calvinist kids, although we weren't sure why. There were Mennonites, River Brethren, Amish, non-denominational Christians, etc. The one thing that everyone had in common was that we were sheltered and were not allowed to say anything that would "tear down someone's spirit". As we got to be teenagers, we figured out the language...
You are truly an empty vessel, ready to be used by God. = You bring nothing of value to this team, you've got to have some talent, right?
I am grateful that The Lord has brought you into my life so that I may learn to depend on Him. = I can't stand you and all I do I pray that I don't snap your neck when you're near me.
You are quite the energy giver! = Calm yourself!
You are being an energy taker= Could you possibly think of any more work you could make for me?
The Lord has certainly blessed you with a spirit of boldness and authority. = You are a bossy jerk.
From a guy: That outfit does a great job of enhancing your countenance! = Ugh! I wish you wouldn't button ALL the buttons on your baggy shirt!
How many siblings do you have? = I'm interested in you, but I know we can't be alone, so I would like to maximize our chaperone pool.
I will pray that The Lord shows you what the right choice is. = Clearly you won't listen to me, fine. Learn the hard way.
You have been such an attentive little girl today! = I want to see if your parents have taught you how to "deflect praise". If you answer "Thank you!", that is prideful. The correct response is "My parents have been very diligent in teaching me that it is important to show the worth of a person by giving them my undivided attention".
I was unable to get to my appointment on time because God had a bigger plan for my life and saved me from almost certain death = I had a flat tire.
She clearly has committed herself to guarding her heart and focusing all her attention on serving The Lord and not being distracted by the desires of the flesh.= Man, she clearly doesn't own a mirror.
Let's get there early so we don't have to sit in back with the LIT's = We are stuck up and don't want to associate with the "bad kids". (LIT's are leaders in training. You can't "curse someone", therefore the kids who rebel are called LIT's so it sounds positive, but you still know they are the guys who don't tuck in their shirts).
At the end of each seminar, we would all sign each other's books. Of course, girls and guys couldn't exchange numbers or emails, so a signed name just meant you didn't care. Listing your plans for the mission trips and upcoming seminars you were planning on attending and writing "Perhaps God will allow us to serve together again" meant = try to go on one of these trips so I can see you again!
You are a true example of a submissive woman = if my husband ever said that to me I would snap his neck.
I'm a lost pearl baby = I was born after my father got snipped and then mom wanted more kids.
She didn't feel The Lord leading her to blanket train = I can't believe that lady puts her child in a pack-n-play and didn't beat their child until he learned to stay only on a blanket on the floor! He will be an LIT for sure.
As you wish= I am hitting on you with a line from the only "worldly movie" I think all ATI kids have seen. Although some missed the part with Billy Crystal because there was magic.
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